The next night, the bird lays permanently incapacitated under the claw of Jane Fonda, a languorous young cat who, following her nap, had been engaged in a series of kinesthetic exercises, when the nearly-severely depressed bird flew by. Although she is accustomed to corporate commercial enterprises and credit card machines, it has been sometime since she has been in such close proximity to a bird in flight and the cat could not recall immediately which side of her paw to swipe with. However, her hesitation was only infinitesimal and was certainly not a pause long enough for the bird to escape through before she being flattened.
It was originally assumed by interested parties that the bird had accidentally come across the cat. However, later it came to light that the bird had packed up her nest (as if expecting to be away for sometime) and had left a prescient final note in her moleskin journal which read, "Small Cat." Perhaps her nearly-severe depression had turned into severe depression and lead her to attempt suicide in this most terrible way or...perhaps, having just read Bighead, she had thought to find a kitten who might pacify her enemies and thus become her protector (especially on long flights away from the nest).
And, by the way, he just awarded me a copy of his book Eeeee Eee Eeee with pictures! Yay. Can't wait to read it.